My stepson Jack asks, “What is Grandma Berry to me?” He’s referring to my mom. We’ll see her this weekend, in Chicago, for her 81st birthday. Jack, six, has been wrestling with the complicated terminology of a stepfamily. The last time we visited family on my side, he asked me what, exactly, my nieces and nephews [...]
Archive for the ‘I'm Not Their Dad’ Category
Step-Grandma.
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized on February 4, 2010 | 9 Comments »
Jack’s Parents Get Divorced Every Year.
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Kids Hate Divorce, Uncategorized, tagged attached, cell phones, dad, developmental, divorce, ex-husband, houses, live together, parent, shuttling, stage, stepdad on January 18, 2010 | 10 Comments »
When my stepson Jack was four, and I first spent time with him, I was a big hit. ”I want you to be my dad, like” he told me. I told him that he already had a dad who loved him very much, but I was his step-dad. Still, I basked in the glow of that “I want you to [...]
Slacker Stepson
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized on December 22, 2009 | 4 Comments »
I berated my six-year-old stepson during a back yard football game on Saturday. It was Jack and I against his mom and older brother, Michael. They’d just kicked off to us. It was time for our first play from scrimmage, I noticed that Michael and his mom were talking, with their backs turned. It was an opportunity for [...]
Stop Sibling Bickering: Two Easy Steps
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized, tagged bickering, consequence, contempt, correct, hitting, kicking, misbehavior, prosecute, sibling, stepdad, stepsons, verbally on November 27, 2009 | 2 Comments »
My stepsons are fighting in the back seat. Jack is six, Michael 11. Their mom is at Northwest baggage claim. We’re picking her up. This gives me an opportunity, as stepdad-in-charge, to apply my theory that any misbehavior by children can be modified by 1) clear commands and 2) certain consequences. Because I’m rarely alone with the boys, [...]
I Hate the Zoo
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized, tagged animals, autistic bears, boring, outwitted, pace, passion, repetitive, stepdad, zoo on November 17, 2009 | 10 Comments »
Please, all adults, join with me in admitting that the zoo is BORING: The lions doze – you’re lucky to get a tail-twitch; the bears pace the same repetitive path as if they’re autistic; and the chimps and apes, who are actually interesting, hide.
How to Make Your Stepchild Like You
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized on August 21, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I just read an academic article that explained how to make your stepchild like you. You wouldn’t guess the content from the title, which was “A Social Constructionist Multi Method Approach to Understanding the Stepparent Role”. Yeah. The scientists examined 40 stepfamilies (34 stepfather-biomom arrangements, 6 stepmother-biodad situations.) Kids aged 10-19. Here’s the finding of the scientists: Your stepkids will [...]
Parenting Tips from Saddam Hussein
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized, tagged discipline attitude fair judges jabbing Halo "time out" stepfater stepson on August 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Rachel assures me that I’m every bit as good a step-dad as Saddam Hussein.
Bad, Bad Stepchild!
Posted in I'm Not Their Dad, Uncategorized, tagged behavior, bicker, child-rea argument, discipline, morals, stepchildren, stepfather, stepmother on May 19, 2009 | 4 Comments »
The fault line between us was the kids. Most of the arguments started with one of us offering unsolicited parenting advice.
