Archive for the ‘Tricking Rachel into Marrying Me’ Category

firstdate 001Alani is questioning Rachel about our first date.  We’re sitting on a patch of grass at Cedar Point, Alani, Rachel, Jack, Michael, and me, eating hotdogs, french fries, and dip n dots after the wave pool.

Alani recently learned that the very first time I met Rachel, I decided  I wanted to marry her.  I didn’t mention this to Rachel on that first date so that she didn’t place me in the “Freak” category.

Would you have put him in the ‘freak’ category?” Alani asks Rachel.

“Yeah,” Rachel says. “Well,” she amends, “maybe not “freak”, but I would have thought, ‘dude, don’t be so desperate’.”

Alani probes:  “Did you know you wanted to marry him?

“NO.”  Rachel’s answer is a little too emphatic for my taste.

Alani gets up to throw her cardboard hot dog tray away.  She smirks at me.  “Poor Dad,” she says.  Rachel laughs.

This irritates me.  I consider my wooing of Rachel to have been a masterful performance.  She was clearly out of my league.  I knew I couldn’t rely on ordinary dating techniques.  Yes, I was head-over-heels after our two-hour conversation over buttered shrimp and cabernet, but I didn’t let on.  She had no inkling of what was going on inside my head.

As we said goodbye that night, standing outside the restaurant,  I impersonated a man who had just had a mildly enoyable time.  I smiled and got my car keys out of my pocket.  I didn’t mention that we would be spending the rest of our lives together.  I didn’t even try to set up a second date. 

It had rained earlier. The streetlights shone in the wet pavement.  The mist made her skin lovely.  But I made no move. 

And here’s what happened: She kissed me. 


It’s true.  On the cheek, yes, but didn’t her lips linger for just a moment?  I think they did.

And did I call her the next day?  No.  The day after that, perhaps?  No.  I didn’t call until three days later, despite the fact that for the entire 72 hours,  I replayed that two-hour first date, and that rainy-night kiss, again, and again, and again.


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